God bless awesome friends who forgive you for being weird. God bless letters that dont exactly explain everything, but give you an excuse to get together to talk about stuff. God bless taco bell and God bless good times.

i love you guys.

"forgivness" by collective soul

In my silence I would love to forget
But restitution hasn't come quite yet
And with one accord I keep moving forth
I stretch my heart to heal some more

It used to be all I'd want to learn
Was wisdom trust and truth
But now all I really want to learn
Is forgiveness for you

As my seasons change I've now grown to know
When one's heart creates, one's soul doesn't owe
So I wash away stains of yesterday
Then tempt my heart with love's display

It used to be all I'd want to learn
Was wisdom trust and truth
But now all I really want to learn
Is forgiveness for you

"epiphany" by staind

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear.

Oh-ho
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.

So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away.
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I wanna come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart.

Oh-ho
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.

I am nothing more than
a little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide.
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed.

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.

Mmmm nestle quick... yummy...

"trouble" by coldplay dedicated to bartholomew


O no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I've said,
O no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

I never meant to cause you trouble
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble
O no, I never meant to do you harm

O no, I see
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn
Here am I in my little bubble.

Singing out, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
Ahhh, well if I ever caused you trouble
O no I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me...


i wish it was the weekend. i miss the weekend.

the daffodils look lovely today...

woo hoo!

i watched three good movies yesterday. hearts in atlantis, pay it forward and fear and loathing in las vegas. fear and loathing was hilarious. totally pointless and i have decited that jonny depp, even though he is a perfect 10 on the scale of the shallow ranking game, is a complete weirdo. but still, he rocks. hearts in atlantis was sort of shallow, but that was to be expected from a stephen king movie. and pay it forward, although sad, was just a nice movie. watch them people.

i am in the modd for a wacky watermellon juice appeal right now. Mmmm.... juice appeal....

be happy people. there are lots of reasons to be so.

well folks... looks like its going to take more than just a transmition filter to fix my car. im going to have to re-build the whole darn thing. but guess what? i dont care! i really dont. it will take me about a month i guess to save up the money i need to re-build it. thats not bad. i'll be driving my car again soon.

woo hoo!

last nights party was pretty fun, considering. anyway, my dad is working on my car right now. hopefully it will be fixed soon. see? God is awesome. seriously.

have a awesome saturday everyone. be happy.

freaky deaky.

today was an awesome day.

sorry for the potty mouth earlier. but i was serious when i said i was happy. i dont really care about my car. its nothing for God. besides, i have bigger problems than my stupid car. there was no reason for a lecture. i wasnt being sarcastic when i said i was happy.

dammit.

i know God puts trials in our lives to make us depend more on Him during the hard times. but i dont understand why its so hard. whats so hard about giving my problems to someone else to take care of? why do i feel like i have to take them all on myself? especially becuase i profess to know that Christ is able to take care of my problems, but then i turn around and dont bother to give them to him. why wouldnt i? i mean, seriously. i guess becuase im a stupid idiot.

well im freakin sick and tired of all this crap. im sick of being the one to deal with it. its not my job. its not my place. i just want to be happy. not apathetic, happy. not apatheticly happy, just plain happy. so thats how im going to be. even if it takes $2,000.000 to fix my damn car. im going to be happy becuase its not my problem. God makes everything happen for a reason, so there *must* be a reason for this.

all im going to do is sit back and let God take care of it becuase i trust him. this may seem like a big problem for me, but for God its nothing.

look at me! im happy!!!

my valentine...

heh. cute.


Take the Which Powerpuff Girl Are You? Test.

yikes. i wanted to be mojo jojo.

well, here it goes... on with the mixed feelings. i guess i really am not quite as apathetic as i make out to be. i dont think i ever could be truly apathetic. God wouldnt allow it. he would convict me. anyway, yeah.

i wrote a letter to joel. now all i have to do is actually mail it. i could have handed it to him last night i suppose, but i didnt really want to.

happy birthday to heather. horray for you!

i made a "doll"...

magentasky's dolls
also, i took this test...



Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

*big 'ole hug* to my bestest friend isaiah, becuase he is still around and becuase he is the coolest. really.

today is a beautiful day.

i am still happy.

i think getting a job has done me a lot of good. that, among other things.

heh...

"... who wants to listen to a single-sided phone call?

sorry I'm not your cup o'tea
but I don't mind
yeah, I said I don't mind
at least I know you're thinking about me
yeah, I don't mind
yeah, I said I don't mind ... "
~newsboys "cup O tea"

i am happy.

i think i'll just go somewhere by myself and melt away now.

April, April, April...

Hmm...well, the only pain I actually feel here is the joy that you'll be missing this summer at Calvin Crest. I don't know what has happened at that place that has you so paranoid, or what you've been told or whatever. Truth be told, I don't even really wanna know. But whatever the case, I respect your decision, as much as I don't understand it, I respect it. Cuz that's what friends do. I won't ask you to reconsider, but what I will ask you to do is reach down into the farthest depths of your soul and honestly ask yourself what would bother you about CCA'ing, and if you were comfortable with doing so, tell me. Again, I reiderate, I wouldn't try to make you go, just see if I could kill some unneeded fear. I hope you have a good "the rest of monday" night. I will have to say that as much as it's stereotypical, I really still do think that Friday is the best day of the week. Call me old fashioned, tell me I'm stereotyping, but frankly I won't care. Not apathetic minded mind you, I just wouldn't care about that particular sitauation. Now, if you'll excuse me (ahem,) I have a song to finish writing as of now so until next time, this is Zay saying (pointing my fingers to my head as if sending you the message "goodnight" by telepathy) -Zay out

rotations...

music :: linkin park, staind, creed, smashing pumpkins... anything sort of angry sounding.
reading :: the jesus freaks book. its about martyrs. also im reading phillipians.
clothes :: pajama's of course. theres really no reason to change clothes.
attitude :: apathetic of course.
food :: coffee only. my mouth still aches.
activites :: sitting around not doing much of anything, as usual.
movies :: dude wheres my car and night at the roxbury.

im all sore from my three hour drive yesterday. driving that big van is very uncomfortable. my weekend was sort of ok. it also sort of sucked. the best part was when travis kept saying , "i HATE that GUY!" about this reall weird kid who was acting all strange. hah! what a weirdo. some not good things happened this weekend also, but they were taken care of. i learned a lot about the characters of my high schoolers. hm. high schoolers are strange people. but i love them.

i also made my final desicion. isaiah, you are my best friend and i would do almost anything for you. but im not going to cca this summer at calvin crest. i would go out of my mind. and that would not be good. trust me. i would end up not being too fun. but i will hang out with you when your not at calvin crest. and i hope you have an awesome time up there.

mondays are the best day of the week. they truly are. im not kidding.

Wowie! You are Times New Roman! You may set the standard for many things, but you aren't really very interesting and many consider you to be ugly/a waste of space.


Strawberry: 0/100 Pear: 0/100 Banana: 30/100 Tomato: 35/100 Lemon: 50/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test




Find out what kind of driver you are!

stupid on-line tests that i keep taking.