dammit.

i know God puts trials in our lives to make us depend more on Him during the hard times. but i dont understand why its so hard. whats so hard about giving my problems to someone else to take care of? why do i feel like i have to take them all on myself? especially becuase i profess to know that Christ is able to take care of my problems, but then i turn around and dont bother to give them to him. why wouldnt i? i mean, seriously. i guess becuase im a stupid idiot.

well im freakin sick and tired of all this crap. im sick of being the one to deal with it. its not my job. its not my place. i just want to be happy. not apathetic, happy. not apatheticly happy, just plain happy. so thats how im going to be. even if it takes $2,000.000 to fix my damn car. im going to be happy becuase its not my problem. God makes everything happen for a reason, so there *must* be a reason for this.

all im going to do is sit back and let God take care of it becuase i trust him. this may seem like a big problem for me, but for God its nothing.

look at me! im happy!!!