the snot keeps coming out of the left side of my nose. not the right side. the right side has absolutly no snot at all. but the right side wont stop. i keep wiping it on my sleeve wich means two things... 1st thing is that the undernieth of my nose is all red and irritated and the 2nd thing it means is that theres a big snot streak on my sleeve. gross.

and my car is almost legally driveable. alls i have to do is smog it, register it and fix the brakes. then i can go on trips. as soon as i find someone to go with.

i just drank about four cups of coffee and im more tired than when i began. the horrible thing is that if i go to bed, i'll fall fast asleep, but then my bladder will wake me up after about fifteen minutes. i just know it. so im going to stay up untill all the stupid coffee is out of my system, if you know what i mean.

i sat at the coffee place for about an hour and a half yesterday evening. i still just cant seem to figure out weither or not that guy who works down there is gay... i just dont know. he's really good looking and seems like a nice boy. he's real quiet and soft spoken. pretty laid back it seems... but i just dont know...

well, peace be in your hearts...

so, last night i went to a punk rock show. it was pretty fun i guess. it was neat to actually be doing something other than sitting at home by myself on a friday night, wich is what i usually do becuase i have no friends to sit around with. so anyway, the punk rock show was cool. a couple of the bands were 'aight. chris should have come. although there was this one guy there who bore an uncanny resemblance to chris... he wore the hat and had the walk down... the even had sort of a chris nose... he was skinnier though, by quite a bit... he was also just all around smaller than chris... not as good looking either... stupid punker.

i just ironed my pants. I IRONED MY PANTS I TELL YOU! IRONED THEM! isnt that CRAZY?!? ( that was a kasey and travis moment ). kasey, if your out there, i miss you.

people who dont update their blogs with interesting content about life are boring. charlie, you have an awesome blog. constant updates are awesome.

hrm... i watched Thirteen Ghosts this morning as soon as i woke up. it was a pretty gruesome movie. quite horrible, in fact.

i dont know. whatever.

george isnt dead!!!

Post-Hypnotized Peter


What Office Space character are you?
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Congratulations, you're Seattle, the Emerald City.
Seattle, Washington
Contrary to popular opinion, Seattle is not as rainy as legend says. It is in fact a charming green jewel with sparkling cerulean water and verdant hills. Its isolation has made it home to free-thinking and independent individuals. Despite having the most millionaires per capita, it still has a small town atmosphere. A small town with lots of coffee that is. Java is an art there. Perhaps it is the coffee that has caused this city to give birth to twisted cartoonists and rock stars.

What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun

You Are Edward From "Edward Scissorhands." You are very shy and often misunderstood. Innocent, sweet, and artistic, you like to pass your days by daydreaming and expressing yourself through the arts. You are a truly unique individual. Unfortunately, you are quite lonely, and few people truly understand you.

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Which Princess Bride Character are You?
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according to the "how fun are you?" test, i am...

NOT THAT FUN!

I am ...

VERY PIRATE

according to the rebelsnail.net Pirate Assesment. How Pirate Are You?

im sorry i can act like such an a**hole a lot of times. i cant ever seem to get away from myself.

*post edited due to the rather wise words of my baby brother*

... a short apology in an e-mail in response to my four page, hand written letter bearing my heart for the last time is not enought to consolidate. i dont feel any better.

Jeremiah 29:11 "for i know the plans i have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future..."

lord, help me to trust... help me to trust...

chris has my movie "yellow submarine". ive really been wanting to watch it, but i dont want to bother with calling him just to ask for it back. i feel stuck.

my valentine...


seriously, im staying home tonight with my best friends coffee and blockbuster. im going to frame some art and work on a piece also.

so, i think i killed my new boyfriend george the vegan. seriously... i just found out that the "vegan" cheese that ive been feeding him and the other vegans isnt really vegan at all, but contain that one cow enzym found in the stomach. i havnt seen george for the past couple of days, so i think i must have killed him. i was going to ask him to be my valentine too... not really. coffee and blockbuster might have gotten jealous.

theres a band playing tonight down there at java jungle. i was considering going, but i dont have any friends to go with.it would be cool to hang out with chris, but i dont think he likes me much. he never calls. besides, coffee and blockbuster might miss me.

wOw... i just found a whole package of pez...

happy frickin valentines day.

anyway, i have put a lot of thought on the matter and i think that seeing this certain boy just recently was not the best thing for me. it was, in fact, not a good thing for me at all. it was nice to know that i have forgiven, and its nice for him to know that i have forgiven, but now i miss him like crazy all over again. its like brand new miss in my heart, if you know what i mean by that. it will probably be like this for the rest of my whole life. damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.

i kept catching myself saying these little things today. things that he said, things that we both said. little running gags and whatever. i kept catching myself saying things and thinking things that i thought a few years back. that i havnt thought of or said much within the past almost two years.

sometimes a thing can be so obviouse, and make so much sense that its like, "no sh*t sherlock" but it still doesnt happen. what really kills, and i mean brutaly kills, is when one person see's it and the other person doesnt. even after its been so damn long.

so you see, it really wasnt a good thing.

Lord, help me to trust. help me to trust...

just to give you an idea of EXACTLY what im feeling right now, heres a little song written by damon gough...

"theres nothing i could say to make you try to feel ok
and nothing you could do stop me feeling the way i do
and if the chance should happen that i never see you again
just remember that i'll always love you

id be a better person on the other side im sure
you find a way to help yourself to find another door
to shrug off minor incodents that mnake us both feel proud
i just wish i could be there to see you through

you always were the one to make a stand out in the crowd
though every once upon a while your head was in the cloud
theres nothing you could ever to do to ever let me down
and remember that i'll always love you "

and im sitting here with my best friends, coffee and apathy. apathy is kind of starting to walk out the door though, i think he is getting bored with me becuase ive been caring a lot about things over the past few days. coffee is still here though. my good and faithful friend. all nice and comfy and warm...

as apathy leaves, theres more room for Jesus...

I wish I could be invisible. If I was invisible then I would find him and follow him. Wherever he went, I would be there too. Quietly following him and doing what he did. I would be like an angel of sorts… always lifting him up in prayer and thoughtfully supporting him anyway I could. If I was invisible, I would silently follow him. I would watch him and be blessed by the things he did. I would be happy to just silently follow him. I would feel happy when he felt happy and sad when he felt sad. I would quietly follow him, if I was invisible. I would have to be invisible though, because I don’t think he would want me there otherwise. But if I could be there, then I would be truly happy. Following him without a word for the rest of our lives. He wouldn’t even have to know I was there. I would never say a word. I would follow him without question and watch, simply happy to be near him, to see him and be near him. simply happy. If I were invisible.

dammit.

so, i got back today. and heres a little picture of my desk after i dumped my purse contents out and also a little photo of my minty collection...


this past weekend was a true blessing. it was an amazing weekend, to say the least.

welp, see ya later!

i am april suffering from allergies (among other things)...


i am aprils hot gypsy cold care tea...

so, the whole right side of my face is filled up with this green snot-like snot. and the left side of my nose is running regular snot. my eyes are all puffy and watery and my body feels like its going to fall out from under me. i keep wiping my nose on my shirt sleeve becuase im discusting, so theres this gross mark on my sleeve. not to mention the non-stop coughing.

im going to wear the same pants that ive been wearing for the past week again today because im freaking miserable and i dont care.

i just blew my nose again and cleared out some of the right side of the head. my snot is seriously green. i wonder if theres something horibly wrong with that... probably is. im probably dying and dying fast... good bye cruel world...

anyway, i helped my buddy charlie set up a blogger yesterday. check it...http://hey_littleman.blogspot.com

welp, i have to go get ready for another long miserable day. just me and Jesus and my allergies.

i cant believe how freaking miserable i am.