blah.

sometimes i wonder.....

~april

wOw. thanks so much for the wonderful pearl of wisdom, isaiah. you are cool.

"God of wonders beyond our galaxy, you are holy, holy. the universe declairs your majesty, you are holy, holy......." ~third day

~april

A Pearl of Wisdom...
When it comes to life, you can never be too ready for it. Yes, one could assume that things are worse in some times then they are in others. This would be a true assumption. Yet there is another truth about this kind of thing. In life, do we not gain experience in the bad times that we can use to our advantage in the good times, etc? See, in this life, God likes to take the bad, and turn it into things for his good. So keep in mind that when life seems really terrible, (as opposed to another "better" time), it's only an opportunity to learn something while going through the experience. There's a Pearl of Wisdom for the day. Visit my website!-Zay out

i finally fixed my web site all up. and learned some stuff about go-live in the process. there are still a few things to fix though.....

greg and i found out that even though things sucked a few years ago, it didnt even compare to how much things suck now.
its sort of weird though, becuase its not really so much that things suck, but its just the way they are and we have to learn how to deal with it with a good attitude no matter how hard that may be. becuase some thing are really not worth beating yourself up over.

i should take my own advice.

~april

note to self: stop taking sudafed! it doest help you get any better and it makes you sick no matter what.

~april

note to self: non-drowsy sudafed makes you drowsey and nausiated no matter what the box says.

another note to self: stop expecting so much from certain things. dont let the man get you down.

84 days of school left.....

~april

i hate school.

ok, let me elaberate..... i really hate school.

~april

health and wellness is sort of interesting so far. mr. allen cusses sometimes, wich i think is pretty funny.

this sunday will be the beginning of my quest for a new home church. i think i will go to the big calvary chapel first off and maybe next sunday i will go to the e.v. free church again. i really like the college group at e.v. free. they all seem like nice people there and the teachers are really cool. i like the way the youth pastor has his wife sit in with him. they are a team. i really like that in ministry, when a husband and wife can work directly together and be a blessing to other by just being with eachother in ministry. i want to be like that.
anyway, im a little scepticle about calvary chapel becuase grandma goes there..... i guess i will just have to pick the service that she doesnt go to to avoid her. hrm..... sort of sad, but oh well. mom asked me if i wanted to get involved with their college group but i dont think i will. whenever i went there before, they seemed kind of snobby. i dont know about hanging out with them. maybe thats something to pray about.
joel wants me to go to his church, but i just dont think i could handle an assembly of god church. maybe someday. maybe. depends on the circumstances. maybe.

tomorrow im going to call and make an apointment to get my wisdom teeth taken out. i think i'll make that appointment for a tuesday so that i can take a few days off from school. heh.

" all the kings horses and all the kings men, couldnt put my heart back together again....." ~Travis from the humpty dumpty love song

~april

have you ever felt like you were choking on air and your eyes start to burn like your going to cry? blah.

~april

i just got done with the lay-out for heathers web page. i really like the way it looks..... its very cool even though the backgrounds are not working. i still have to figure that part out.... heres the banner and the link......



hmm.....

~april

86 days of school left.....

note to self: the higher you climb, the harder you fall in case you should happen to fall at all.....

so this is goodbye.....

~april

"Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide....."
~oasis from champaign supernova

"hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away....." ~pearl jam
i was just thinking about how we like, never took any photo's this past summer and i got sort of depressed. hrm.....

school started today. one day down, 89 left to go..... yeah, you better belive im counting down. i cant wait for the weekend.

today i updated joels movie list. while going through blockbuster yesterday, i remembered a lot of movies that i should really add to his list. but i just got home from school and really dont want to think about that kind of stuff right now. i'll add more movies some time later. whatever.

im hungry. blah. school. blah. life. blah blah blah blah blah.

one time, i got this random phone call.....

~april

im back from calvin crest. summer is over, school starts on wednesday..... i better watch out..... i feel it coming on..... another awful 18 weeks of something.

~april

"im loosing everyone, but i know i cant loose you. maybe my time will come, but i know i cant loose you....." ~caedmons call

note to self: find out where you stand. find out where *exactly* you are at and do it soon.....or else you might just be screwed.....

i do NOT want to go to school next week. school starts the 15th. i just dont know what im doing there. i know why God wants me there, but what good is it doing me? i hate school! i was wondering today, after talking with joel, about why God didnt make me more of a sappy girl. the kind who cares about going to school and getting a really good education and persuing something really big like that. sometimes i just do not like being me. right now i do not like being me.

sometimes its good to cry. just let it out.

~april

well i thought i had it all figured out. im pretty prone to stressing out over stuff and this week i have been trying pretty hard to not get stressed or worried or too caught up in "stuff". at the beginning of the week i had it all figured out. just stay busy, i told myself. just stay busy, and stay one step ahead of everything that you have to do and you will be fine! so i stayed busy. and i stayed one step ahead of the game. i didnt go too far ahead. if i do that, i stress about things that are going to happen next week. i just stayed one step ahead. and it worked. i was awesome. but, i didnt count those few hours in the middle of the night when i wake up for no aparent reason. when i wake up and just lie there in the dark and be awake. thats when all that stuff that i havnt been thinking about catches up to me. thats when i get worried or stressed or emotional about "stuff". i didnt think about that time. that time in the middle of the night gets to me. either then, or right after i wake up in the morning right before i get out of bed or the hour or so it takes me to fall asleep. im a wreck. blah.

its done.

i dont think i want to go to calvin crest tomorrow. i dont think i really know what i want. actually, i *do* know what i want. never mind.

blah. stuff. you know.

~april

thursday...... im doing good........

~april

its wednesday.... the week is almost over...... wooooo.

~april