What Sign of Affection Are You?
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical contact with your special someone but you don't want to take things too quickly.

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Take the Which Bounty Hunter are You? test by Shaolin.

hrm... yeP.

so, today i simply moped around the house like i usually do. most people would look at me and think i was bored, but what they dont seem to realize is that doing nothing is my favorite thing to do, so how could i be bored?

im going to go watch a movie now.

american history x... wOw.

so, i updated the page layout. thats about it.

Lord Jesus,reign in me today... reign in me right now... over my thoughts, over my words, over every ince of my body, i ask you to rein in me today.

i feel the urge to be self pitious when i really actually have no right to be. my life isnt that much of a mess compared to other peoples lifes. and Jesus loves me just the same, so really i have to right to complain. i should, in fact, be joyous. becuase i know Jesus. so many people my age cant say the same. thank you Jesus, for reveiling yourself to me at such a young age in my life. now, i ask, that you would not allow me to waste any more time, but to be activly living for you, never lacking in zeal but keeping my spiritual fervor.

2 corinthians 12:9a "but he said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..."

i am weak right now. ive been weak for quite a while. lord, make your power perfect in my life right now... today, this minute, this second. make your grace sufficient for me. help me to live by this verse.

so, the christmas tree auction. i bought shoes and a necklace, but now i need to find a stupid dress. im probably going to get a long black "ball room gown" from sears and some sort of shirt to wear with it... my shoes are red doc marten boots and im going to braid some red ribbon through my hair and make it look all funky. its going to be fun i guess.

kasey, if you are reading this, please know that i love you and that im praying for you.

travis, peace be with you. God loves you and so do i. get some rest, assured that God has everything in control.

so, today was really fun. thanks Jesus, for the blessing that i did not deserve.

"hello sidney..."

i dont belive that God has "one special person" out there for all of us. if God had "one special person out there for all of us" then that would eliminate free choice. i belive he gives us several compatible choices and its up to those two people to decide weither ir not to make the sacrifices it would take to become a couple. and it would take sacrifice on BOTH parts.also, love is a decision. if you decide you are going to be attracted some someone, if you decide you are going to be in love with someone, then it more than likely will happen. its a choice. but i guess BOTH people would be WILLING to make those sacrifices and BOTH people would have to make the choiuce of "falling in love" with the other person.. it wasnt that hard to make sacrifices when i thought of what the outcome could be. but my sacrifices alone werent enough to cut it. it takes TWO people WILLING to SACRIFICE.

well, one down. how many more to go? i would rather not think about it. the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

Romans 12:10-11
"be devoted to one another in brotherly love. honor one another above yourselves. never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

devotion :: de·vo·tion Pronunciation Key (d-vshn) n.
Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle. Synonym for love

honor :: hon·or Pronunciation Key (nr) n.
High respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem

zeal :: zeal Pronunciation Key (zl) n.
Enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance. Synonym for passion

fervor :: fer·vor Pronunciation Key (fûrvr) n.
Great warmth and intensity of emotion. Synonym for passion

Lord, help me to live that that.

i dont know why i put this site back up. i guess i just sort of figured i had some things to say and needed a little place to put them. i'll eventually be building the whole site back up, but i thought my blogger would be sufficent for now.

i removed the commenting option for a couple of reasons. one, i was tired of people putting me down (intentionally or un-intentionally, it doesnt matter) on my own site for my views. two, i dont really want people commenting publicly about my thoughts on this page. if you have something to say to me, comment or otherwise, i would invite you to e-mail me. i promise i will reply if you care enough to actually e-mail me. i will probably eventually put the commenting option back up along with the rest of my site.

there are a lot of things on my mind and on my heart to say. hopefully, after a little while i will get them out.

let me start by mentioning some names...
~ heather ~ you are an awesome sister. together, you and i, will continue to sharpen our wit on our new "worst enemy" mark.
~ isaiah ~ i love you. you are honestly one of the best friends i have ever had in my life. we will always be friends. no matter how moody and stand-offish i can be. please forgive me and bear with me.
~ greg ~ thanks for e-mailing me and asking if i was alright
~ josh ~ also, thank you for caring enough to e-mail me to ask if i was alright
~ hannah ~ i love you, girl. i pray that God gives you the strength you need on this mission he has sent you on. you are awesome. your faith encourages me.
~ mara ~ i love talking with you. im really glad we are friends.
~ my "kids" (travis, kasey, corey, rosanne & all my youth group in woodlake) ~ i LOVE you guys.
~ chris ~ thanks for insisting that i talk to you.
~ kevin ~ thank you for the little note that you sent me a while back. it came just on time...
~ "love is more than goodbye kisses"~ this guys is one of the most inspiring christians that i have ever met. i dont even know him really, but his faith, love and dedication to Jesus encourages me every time i read his little web site. thank you, whoever you are.
and finally...
~ joel ~ almost all of my art from the past 3 years or so has been inspired a dedicated to you. i would give it to you in a portfolio, but i think that would finish me off. i pray that God would reviel his good and perfect plan to you and that you would have the wisdom and strength to recognize and follow that plan. i love you.

dear Jesus, calm my spirit...