horray for isaiah who invited himself over today (unlike some other people even though the invitation is *still* open... *coughjoelcough*) and brought us coffee. isaiah rocks.

jurrasic park 3 was pretty boring so i came in here. it did make me laugh pretty hard whenever the dinosaurs ate the people though. hahaha.

good times people. drink coffee. its tastes yummy.

gal·li·vant also gal·a·vant (gl-vnt)
intr.v. gal·li·vant·ed, gal·li·vant·ing, gal·li·vants
To roam about in search of pleasure or amusement.

anyone up for some galavanting some time this week?

God bless awesome weekends. and this was an awesome one. mostly becuase i didnt really do anything but hang out with friends and watch tv. four movies on friday and three movies on saturday. sunday i only watched one movie and a couple hours of tv, but it was cool becuase i took a nap while emeril live was on. sort of a nap anyway. as much of a nap as you can get when emeril is in the background yelling "BAM!". heh. you gotta love it. he was cooking some kind of duck breast and i found myself wishing that i could cook that. even though i wouldnt eat it, i might cook it for someone. depending on where the duck meat came from.

anyway, i decited to be more like spongebob squarepants and make everyday a holiday. today is "happy sit around in your pajamas and watch tv" day. wait a minute... thats what i do everyday... hrm... in any case, spongebob rocks.

i took a drive to the lake yesterday. its awesome up there right now. good times.

"you know, ide like to keep my cheeks dry today... so stay with me and i'll have it made..." ~blind mellon

WANTED...

motivation. got any?

sorry about that moody rambling yesterday. sometimes life gives you a big kick in the butt. im over it today. i think.

last night we watched swordfish. it kind of sucked except for a really cool helicoptor scene in the end... hugh jackman was sort of funny in it but it was just way too full of sex and stuff and thats discusting. proof of life was a really good movie. it was almost perfect i think... no sex just a sort of attraction. im adding it to the list of movies that joel should see becuase i think he would *like* to see it. we watched office space the other night. i think he thought it was funny except for all the cussing. i love that movie though. its the funniest movie *ever*. well, one of them anyway.

now isaiah has be listening to moby's "porcelin" over and over again. what a good song. my favorite line is when he goes "i never ment to hurt you, i never ment to lie... so this is goodbye... this is goodbye...".

enjoy people. this is as good as it gets.

damn. sometimes it just catches up to me for a little bit. i'll be over it tomorrow im sure. untill then, this is dedicated to a boy...

"close to me" a song by the cure
the disappointment of dreams made real.
Frustrated humming with your head under the pillow, like the end of the day where you feel nothing has been achieved and you're in a hurry to get the day over with so you can start the next one. You tell yourself you're going to do lots of positive things. But the next day is just like the one before. Sometimes it goes on for weeks. ~song explenation by robert smith of the cure
**********
I've waited hours for this
I've made myself so sick
I wish I'd stayed asleep today
I never thought that this day would end
I never thought that tonight could ever be
This close to me
Just try to see in the dark
Just try to make it work
To feel the fear before you're here
I make the shapes come much too close
I pull my eyes out
Hold my breath
And wait until I shake

But if I had your faith
Then I could make it safe and clean
If only I was sure
That my head on the door was a dream...

hrm...

well people, in the battle of zay vrs. legolas (didnt know there was a battle, didya?), zay won. how could he not win? i mean, come on! look at that face!



you gotta love him.

... sitting here with a cup 'O coffee wearing my pajamas and a comfy sweater and my fuzzy black slippers on a friday night with nothing to do. the hole in my mouth is closing up, but my gums still ache pretty bad. i guess thats becuase in the past week i had about 10 shots down there. i have a cold. the snot that was once stuck in my throat is now running out of my nose and i cant afford to buy any kleenex becuase im a looser with no motivation to get a job. everyone thinks im joking when i say i just want to sit around and watch movies and eat cereal. im not joking.

coffee tastes good when your alone. it also tastes good when your with someone, but when your alone it just tastes different somehow...

i think i need a hug.

i wanna be an elf...

*finally* im finished updating and getting my blog back to normal. it took me about an hour and half to finish up here. sheesh. anyway, i'll update the content of the movie page later and maybe add some new art i have. hope you all enjoy the new look. i do. i think it looks like blood cells...

wOw... i think im in love... im in love with an elf...

*sigh*

Mmm... more dental work. i had two cavaties filled today and i have one more to go on thursday. my dentist is awesome. he loads you up on novacaine so you dont feel a thing. all those little instruments that they use in your mouth are sort of neat. he screwed this long thing in my mouth, i guess to seperate my teeth. it sort of made me laugh a little bit. good stuph. and i guess the hole in my mouth is not infected after all. but it still hurts like a headache in my gums.

welp, im off the take some dymatap and then go fix the window on my car with buck. well, check it out at least and see if there is anything we can do. hrm...

its all good.

the mucus in my stomach is making me sick... and dad said the whole in my mouth looks infected...

ahhhh. all better now. sort of anyway.

i wrote joel a letter the other day and sent it to him. it was an awesome letter. one of the best letters i have ever written in my whole entire life. i was very glad to hear he enjoyed the letter. awesome. also, i was really happy to find out that joel still looks at my web page from time to time. thanks, joel.

while i was on the phone with joel i made a very important desicion. i will not try to make joel watch movies that he doesnt really want to see anymore. im just not going to. i know by now what kind of movies that he would like to see, so if i see a movie that i really liked but i dont think he would like, i wont try to make him watch it. ok, joel? heh. hmmm.....

my gums still hurt a little bit. they are somewhat sore. i think im going to ask my dentist to take the rest of my wisdom teeth out next week. that might be a good idea.....

playing tetris alone is sort of lonely...

oh lord it hurts... its like a headache in my gums...

umm... i just had my tooth pulled out. yeah. i went to the dentist to get it checked and he was like, "do you want me to pull it?" and i was like, "right now?" and he was all, "well yeah..." and i thought about it for a while and finally told him to go ahead and get it out. so he did. hmm...

i changed the gauze a while ago becuase it got so soaked with blood that it was getting all over my teeth (gross) and when i looked back there i saw that i have a big hole full of blood where my tooth used to be. big hole 'O blood in my mouth. i showed the tooth to my sisters and brother when i got home and they were all like, "ohhhhh sick, APRIL!". i sort of think its pretty cool though. i know it will hurt later though.

well darn.

i am really hungry. i didnt eat anything today except for breakfast (i didnt know i was going to have my tooth out) and now i cant eat. Mmm... what i wouldnt give for some yummy taco bell...

yummy taco bell...

yummy taco bell...

yumm...

besides the fact that im starving and i have a hole 'O blood in my mouth, today was a pretty good day. i got to hang out with some cool people (mara and travis) who i dont hang out with that often and it was a good time. tomorrow, since i dont have to go to school and i have a hole 'O blood in my mouth, im just going to stay home and watch movies. woooo hoo!

enjoy life. its cool.

yay, finals. woo hoo. really.

Mmm hot tea. not *quite* as good as ice tea, but its really good when you have so much mucus in your throat. hot tea breaks it down and somehow makes it all better. Mmm hot tea.

wOw. i did *three* hours of homework today. my first final is tomorrow in health and wellness. i think im going to do o.k. after my final i have a dentist apointment. i wonder if he will pull my wisdom teeth... i kind of wanted them to put me out for that, but i really need those teeth out... pesky little teeth... anyway, three hours of homework is the most i have done at once for a very, very long time. i had my fill. no more homework for at least a year. im seriouse about that too, in case you were wondering. especially since im not going to school next semester (except for my one art class, which is going to be fun anyway).

here are a few words i think are cool and sometimes i say them just for the heck of it...
tweezer
skull
and
mucus

cool words, huh? small bit 'O randomness to *brighten* your day.

Mmm hot tea. good for the body and soul. Mmm.....

"Don't move
Don't talk out of time
Don't think
Don't worry
Everything's just fine
Just fine...." ~u2, Numb

Peace be with you!
May peace and happiness flood your soul and every part of you as of this very moment. -Zay out

must..... have..... sudafed.....

note to self:: its o.k.....

gross. my stomach feels sick becuase i have a lot of snot and i swallow it and it goes to my stomach making me sick. i know i should just drink water, but water tastes nasty right now for some reason. hrm..... i have been suffering a head ache all day among other things.....

but its still o.k.

never mind. i feel better now. its awesome how God provides.

good LORD, what a horrible day!

time to give out some *snaps*.........

isaiah gets *snaps* becuase he bought us coffee drinks last night and hung out for a really long time and just because he is a cool person in general.....

heather gets *snaps* becuase she baby sat tonight instead of going to that (semi-boring) christimas sign language play at cos and becuase she is really cool becuase she has that "pissed off look" down to perfection.....

rob gets *snaps* simply becuase he rocks. rob needs no other reason to get snaps. he rocks. thats it. also becuase he is really funny. and becuase he has a man-skin jacket. ohhh yes, rob gets lots 'O snaps.....

i get *snaps* because.... hmm.... well i just do.

all of you guys rock.

there goes my insperation. all gone again. im still mulling over stuff in my brain and i can think of more things that probably need to be said, but i cant say them, just becuase.

im really, really ready for school to be done. i told joel the other night that this has been the semester from hell and i was very serious about that. im really not going back next semester, except for my one art class. geeze. all i want to do is get married and have some kids. not that simple though, thanks to how screwed up the world is now-a-days. theres all these things that i "have" to do first and all these things that my guy "has" to do before we can hook up. its screwed. seriously. it could be simple, but its really complexed. i wonder if this is how God wants it....

i wonder that about a lot of things....

i guess it will take me a few kore days to finally come to a conclusion about stuff. untill then, i sit here and mull. and i dedicate this song to a boy.....

"one" by U2

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come tor raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One... life

One

**************
on a happier note, this month is free U2 month on direct tv and i get all kinds of neat U2 programs. videos and concerts and stuff. its been pretty cool. check it if you have direct tv.

hm. thats it.

umm..... thats a really big picture of scott stapp on my page.....

isaiaaahhh!

mmm scott stapp. i think im in love.

Once again, I give you...
Inspiration on a stick!!!



-Zay out

wooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo

yeah. hmm..... i dont think this is finished yet though..... somehow i dont think it will ever be finished.... ever..... hmm.....

i am newly inspired. i have a new outlook on things. its the same, but its different in a way. in a good way i think..... i havnt really had the time to think it over yet. it will probably catch up to me in a couple days after i have had some time to mull over it. i dont process things very quickly and they take a while to catch up before i realize whats going on. i think i got that character traite from my brother and i think its something that a lot of guys do. im not a guy though. but i am greatly influenced by my brother, so i think i got that from him. -wait? what happened? well, we'll see how things go from here. basicly, he just confirmed what i already knew. i just needed to hear it from him though.

this song pretty much sums up a good friendship i think..... the kind where you can be comfortable just sitting there doing nothing. the kind of friendship we had all summer, where we could just be together and not worry about trying to entertain eachother becuase we were afraid of being bored. i think that in the best friendships, you dont have to be afraid of someone being bored while you are there. you should just be happy to be together. to just sit there and be together, not even saying anything or worrying about having nothing to say. just to sit there and be together. we'll see i guess.

"the loudest sound" by the cure (who else? :)

"Side by side in silcence they pass way the day
So comfortable, so habitual...and so nothing left to say
Nothing left to say
Nothing left to say
Side by side in silence his thoughts echo round
He looks upa t the sky...she looks down at the ground
Stares down at the ground
Stares down at the ground
Side by side in silence they wish for different worlds
She dreams him as a boy...he loves her as a girl
Loves her as a girl...

And side by side in silence without a single word...
It's the loudest sound
It's the loudest sound...
It's loudest sound I ever heard"

thats about it. heart felt blog today. i dont think its over though.....

uh oh..... ummm..........

ahhhhh hahahaha!

woooooooo hooooooooo!

today is a black day. all black (except for my stupid yellow shoe laces that i havnt gotten around to changing yet).

im doing something veeerrrryy daring today. its time though.

*laughing* its a beautiful day. it really is. today is the best day of my life. im serious.

"i just want to keep my cheeks dry today, so stay with me and i'll have it made....." ~blind mellon

ahhhhhh hahahaha!

i just have to laugh at my life sometimes. its good for me.

ohhhhhhhhhh no! i dont know what im going to do. i *hate* it when i am placed in a situation where i dont know what to do. i guess i have a whole night and most of tomorrow to think about what im going to do. if i dont go, i would be being a pansy, but if i do go then i.......

well shoot.

ahhh. darnit.

hrm.....

its the first day on december. almost christmas. oh joy.

i fixed my archives today and got rid of the guest book. no one was signing it, so i took it off (thanks to those of you who actually did sign it).

i need some insperation. im all out. this is a gross day.