personality disorder test.....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

hrm..... hahahahaha!

~april

horray for isaiah!

~april

Announcement!
Rad little add-on side interface thing coming tomorrow,er, today ;-). Look forward to some rad stuff. Later...-Zay out

and yet *another* hell-of-a-bad-day.

there was cat puke in my car this morning becuase i left the windows rolled down last night and the cat was in there.

blahhhhhhhhhh...........

~april

20 years old and i *still* struggle with zits.... will it ever change?

~april

i figured out whats wrong with me.

~april

lets see..... i had to be at school at 8:00 this morning (as aposed to 10:00) to take a health and wellness test. i didnt study at all (as usual), but i think i might have done ok. we'll see.

today is a beautiful day. the sky is beautiful. if it wasnt for all this crap inside of me, it would be a perfect day. there is something about waking up early in the morning and being alone for a while that makes you feel prewtty cynical. also, maybe i feel cynical just becuase im a cynical sort of person. who knows.

sometimes God tells me the funniest things. i was just talking to him the other day for a long time and he is just really funny sometimes. i mean, its only funny when i think about it in that certain way, other wise its very seriouse. God is cool becuase he never lies, he is always honest about what he says to you. but sometimes i think its hard to tell if it was reallly God who told me that, or maybe if it was just me telling myself things becuase thats what i want to hear. i really dont know sometimes.

sheesh. today is one of those days. greg and i like to call them "hell-of-a-bad days".

i wonder whats wrong with me.

maybe i should ask God.

~april

i added a guest book. sign it if you have the time. let me know what you think of this site. any comments or suggestions are welcomed.

~april

i added some new stuff on the essay page today. a poem that isaiah wrote and one that i wrote. check them out......
"devoid of hope" a poem written by zay.....
"angels sing" a poem written by april.....

im also working on adding a guest book.....

~april

i just got back from vacation.
there are a lot of things i have decited to do with my life. this has been a very interesting few weeks for me..... lots of stuff to think about and decide upon.....
i also finished the new look for my page. i like it so far.

~april

Cool Song
I just learned how to play the song below. It's pretty cool. I don't know what all of it means, but it sure as heck sounds cool. Gotta learn the lyrics now. Still working on getting the javascript thing to work. -Zay out

Jefferson Airplane, by Relient K
if it hurts kiss it better,
you wear skirts I write nice letters,
never sent nothin but flowers,
though we always talked for hours,
and I know it gets much colder when I cry on my own shoulder,
but we know the show will go on, guess I know, I guess I'll flow on some

Chorus

jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
cuz when it's colder, i feel much better when I cry on my own shoulder,
just throw on a sweater and goooooo, and I'll gooooooo to where the weathers nice and warm,
and I'll gooooo to where I am reborn, and I'll gooooo, cuz in my dreams I can't complain,
and I'll gooooo in my jefferson airplane....

You make the calls, I cover my ears,
niagra falls still flows on new years,
I will save your plunging neck line,
kiss your face you try to deck mine,
if I behave it's gonna cost him, skip the rave in downtown boston,
we all know the show will go on, guess I know guess I'll throw on some

Chorus

jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
cuz when it's colder, i feel much better when I cry on my own shoulder,
just throw on a sweater and goooooo, and I'll gooooooo to where the weathers nice and warm,
and I'll gooooo to where I sense I am reborn, and I'll gooooo, cuz in my dreams I can't complain,
and I'll fllyyyyyyyy on my jefferson airplane,


jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
jefferson airplane trapped and I am enclosed,
but I wont complain I'll open all the windows
cuz when it's colder, i feel much better when I cry on my own shoulder,
just throw on a sweater and goooooo -Zay out

Feelings Inside

Too small to matter, to big to comprehend...so far to reach, almost without end. Bad situations and false aprehensions, lead to dire consequences. Left only to hope, devoid of help, left to wonder, what is left? Without feeling, and without emotion, We accept the normality of human kinds dimension. Never able to understand, never willing to try, only to fly to your one true addiction, pick your poison and live in it's revelation. No serenity, no personality, when it comes to the real you. So what's left to question? Could it really be true? Can there be no real answer, to our situation? Or is there someone out there with at least a guess, as to why in this mess, a select few find a rising love, that goes far beyond what we think? Just maybe it comes from above. -Devoid of Hope?, Isaiah Nickell -Zay out

"Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?
And head back to the Milky Way.........
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there............"
~train "drops of jupiter"

but i have decited to devote myself completly to my art. keeps my mind off of stuff.
sometimes i wish i would just spontaniously combust..... geeze.

~april

"I’m on a mission
Into destination unknown
An expedition
Onto desolation road
(were I’m a …

Castaway – going at it alone
Castaway – now I’m on my own
Castaway – going at it alone
Castaway – now I’m on my own
Lost and found, trouble bound
Castaway" ~green day

my new song. its about me.

~april

"Most Horrific of Days"
Words cannot express the deep sadness and loss we all feel for the families and countless lives lost in the Terrorist hijacked planes, and the unfathomable amount of people killed, caused by the aftermath of the WTC Towers collapsing. In a time when people are so cowardly...to needlessly attack the defenceless, without provacation of war; Such an act could only be directed by satan himself. But in this particular instance, We can only hope to focus on what God is going to do, and not what satan accomplished. Although countless lives were lost today, God will take the evil that was done and turn it around for good. My heart goes out to the hurting today. The shock apparently hasn't hit me as hard as some of those around me. Either God is protecting my heart, or I've been so de-sensitized by the violence that goes on everyday in our country, (and world), that I'm starting to lose perspective on how precious life really is. Whatever the case, I would hope and pray that anyone reading this post could find it in their hearts to pray for the victims' families on this terrible, sad day of loss. My prayer is that the families left behind on this earth would not find anger in God for letting this happen, but find comfort and healing in him. No doubt God will bring the guilty to justice one day. If not on this earth, then in the next life. I've tried to prepare myself for the shocking similar events described in the book of "Revelation" in the bible. Little did I know that I would have to experience them this soon. Once again, My heart goes out to all of the hurting families...-Zay out

well, i took down most of my web site today just because im making some changes and i felt like taking down my web page. i'm up-dating it though. im going to add some new art, maybe a couple of new essay's, and probably do something different with joels movie page. not sure yet though exactly..... if you read my notice up there, then you would know that my blogger is still going to be active. i'll try to hurry up on the up-dates, but i dont want to rush it. i want it to look cool still.

life is really weird. there are some things that i just really, really dont understand as hard as i try. and as many times as i ask God to make some things clear, he wont do it for some reason. i guess he just doesnt want me to know as of now. i guess what he wants from me is to be patient and trust in his plan. i know thats what he wants, actually.

im getting some really good art out of all of this though. im very inspired, but sometimes i wonder if thats a good thing..... i keep thinking of these new pieces and im scetching them out. some of them are really inteteresting to me..... being an artist is weird. i dont know what to think of it sometimes.

anyway, thats life. this is life. i cant believe what happened this morning, with the bombings of the world trade towers. its almost un-real. its like, i only really see those things really happen in the movies, but this is real life. big time.

theres so much more to say. theres always more to say.

~april

Life in General
Life really IS a gift from God. I find myself enjoying it more each and every day...-Zay out

hrm..... weird.....

~april

Psycho-Analized
I'm willing to bet if you were psycho-analized, you would definitely FEEL psycho-analized. That much we know is probably true. As far as what the determination would be from the person who was psycho-analizing you, I have no clue. Visit my website!-Zay out

i wonder what would happen if i was psycho-analized.....

~april