sad day.

Pat Morita dies...

its cold in here.

so now im not sure how to respond when people ask me how i am doing... im not well, but at the same time i have a peace about what happened. i think that i cant help but feel not well over this thing, how could i feel anything else? semi-numb, yet not quite apathetic... just unsure, but sure of the fact that i am not well over this... but, there is peace... peace in my heart and peace over this place... its all over the air and in the faces of other people... and a freedom...

its a strange feeling. i feel strange. un-well, but well at the same time... i dont know how else to feel right now. but i think thats ok.

uhhh...

i have a crush on a boy.

damn.

sometimes i get sort of frustrated... frustrated and confused and im not sure what i should do about it. should i confront the person who confuses me? lay it all down, if you will, and explain whats circling in my head? or should i just drop tiny hints towards that person in hopes that the person will pick up on it and give me a break or explain whats going on from his/her perspective... but then again, what am i trying to gain by sharing my thoughts with this person? what am i hoping for, really? am i hoping for clarity? will there ever really be clarity? do i want to speak my mind and ask for the others perspective if, in the end, there is no clarity? no closure? only more jumbleness and confusion? so, whats to be done?

maybe i should just go have some coffee.