tomorrow i have to go back to work. these past five days have been a real epiphany to me... ive had lots of time to re-evaluate my life and consider new options and try to figure out what else God might have in store for me. lots of things have happened, including sleeping in, multiple daily blogs, excersize, driving around in my car, discusions with my parents, a three hour angry rant with my friend abby, movies and lots of prayer and waiting on God. ive made a decision and i think its a reasonable one.
last night my older brother asked me why dont i apply for staff at calvin crest. i thought about it for a second and replyed with my usual answer, a shrug and the words "i dont think so...". he asked why not and without thinking i answered "i dont know... i kind of really dont like calvin crest that much..." dad said, "you used to." and i said, "yeah, but that was in the past..."
i got up and walked into the other room thinking about calvin crest. i found myself going to the calvin crest web site and looking for staff aplications. i knew that the due date was past and the 2004 staff was more than likely already hired, but i looked anyway.
calvin crest used to be the highlight of my year. i would make friends and build relationships that would last for the next few years, leading to many other adventures. hanging out, talking, complaining, learning, polotics and even a little bit of romance.
and there was that time when i seriously considered being on staff at calvin crest. i wanted to be the crafty chick. i would be the fun loving cynic of calvin crest. the one slowly walking around by herself, trying to find seclusion but always failing becuase of the close knit community that calvin crest is. i would not fit in. i would go crazy. but thats ok. God made some people to work there and he made some people to not work there.
never the less, i downloaded the application and browsed over it. after all, maybe God wanted me to work there. maybe God is wanting to stretch me and change me. maybe he wants to mold me and maybe he wants to get me out of my comfort zone so i can learn to depend on him more. right? probably not though, i mean why would he do a thing like that?
i have been going to calvin crest for many years and i have seen lots of different staff members come and go. there have only been a handfull of staff members who, to me, appeared real and honest. like they werent faking it just becuase they were getting paid. they werent faking it becuase it was a nice little christian camp. in my head, i can think of and name the few who have left a lasting impression of realness in me. the rest are just shiny happy looking blurs of bright colors swimming around in the part of my brain where i store the calvin crest memories.
but, come to think of it, if katie can do it then i could probably do it too. maybe common fire is an option...
well, whatever becomes of me, i only want it to be what God wants for me. my true desire to simply do what he wants me to do, weither that may be calvin crest, watsons, c.o.s or something that hasnt even crossed my mind yet (im open to sugestions... or any encouragment, contstructive critisisim or even just a friendly hello for that matter...)
last night my older brother asked me why dont i apply for staff at calvin crest. i thought about it for a second and replyed with my usual answer, a shrug and the words "i dont think so...". he asked why not and without thinking i answered "i dont know... i kind of really dont like calvin crest that much..." dad said, "you used to." and i said, "yeah, but that was in the past..."
i got up and walked into the other room thinking about calvin crest. i found myself going to the calvin crest web site and looking for staff aplications. i knew that the due date was past and the 2004 staff was more than likely already hired, but i looked anyway.
calvin crest used to be the highlight of my year. i would make friends and build relationships that would last for the next few years, leading to many other adventures. hanging out, talking, complaining, learning, polotics and even a little bit of romance.
and there was that time when i seriously considered being on staff at calvin crest. i wanted to be the crafty chick. i would be the fun loving cynic of calvin crest. the one slowly walking around by herself, trying to find seclusion but always failing becuase of the close knit community that calvin crest is. i would not fit in. i would go crazy. but thats ok. God made some people to work there and he made some people to not work there.
never the less, i downloaded the application and browsed over it. after all, maybe God wanted me to work there. maybe God is wanting to stretch me and change me. maybe he wants to mold me and maybe he wants to get me out of my comfort zone so i can learn to depend on him more. right? probably not though, i mean why would he do a thing like that?
i have been going to calvin crest for many years and i have seen lots of different staff members come and go. there have only been a handfull of staff members who, to me, appeared real and honest. like they werent faking it just becuase they were getting paid. they werent faking it becuase it was a nice little christian camp. in my head, i can think of and name the few who have left a lasting impression of realness in me. the rest are just shiny happy looking blurs of bright colors swimming around in the part of my brain where i store the calvin crest memories.
but, come to think of it, if katie can do it then i could probably do it too. maybe common fire is an option...
well, whatever becomes of me, i only want it to be what God wants for me. my true desire to simply do what he wants me to do, weither that may be calvin crest, watsons, c.o.s or something that hasnt even crossed my mind yet (im open to sugestions... or any encouragment, contstructive critisisim or even just a friendly hello for that matter...)
posted by april at
12:40 PM
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