despite the long shower i took, i can still smell the stench of dirty bodies, clothes, hair and arm pits. the smell is discusting. i guess it just needs some time to wear off...
this past weekend at calvin crest has been bitter-sweet. unfortunatly, in my mind being in the emotional state that it is, the majority of it has been bitter.
this weekend with my high schoolers, i witnessed many things. i supose they have been there all along, but in my current highly sensitive state i noticed them sticking out like a sore thumb. i witnessed a lot of violence, rudeness, disprespect towards eachother and other people and a lot of hatefulness. i saw a lot of acceptance of sin and i witnessed a lot of low self esteem, a lot of looking for acceptance in others and the thing that was most disheartening, i noticed a lack of interest in Jesus.
the speakers name was sam scribbles. i have never seen him before, but my little brother informed me that he has been up at calvin crest several times before. he was quite good looking, very good looking in fact. but more importantly, he was a blessed speaker. God is using him to reach out to people in a latino neighborhood in hollywood with a crime rate almost as high as south centrals.
the focus attention this weekend was the difference between temoprary things (things of the world, momentary pleasures) and eternal things (your relationship with Christ and others, the way you live your life). personally i was blessed by the message, but i was distracted my the above mentioned lack of interest displayed by a good number of my highschoolers.
maybe its just the stage of life that they are in, maybe its just a stage. something they will grow out of. maybe some day they will grow up and come to realise the importance of some of the things that they seem to pass off so quickly as silly or unimportant.
im tired of them. im tired of the violence, the lack of peace. the lack of peace physicly and especially spiritualy. im tired of them struggling for acceptance im tired of them making friends who will not lift them up spiritually. im tired of seeing them make the wrong choices. im tired of the lack of male influence in their lives and im sickened to think of the male influences they choose to have. im frustrated that i can only do so much.
im frustrated because i love them so much. im blessed by this because i get to feel just a small piece of what God feels for them. if im so frustrated and concerned, how much more is God concerend about them? how much more does God love them?
i guess i will just keep on keeping on. sometimes all i can do is pray for them and love them. and silently watch them making the choices they make, even if they are wrong.
i know that i have been guilty of at least some of the above, and i know that it doesnt really matter wich ones becuase God views all of our sins the same, but i feel blessed that God has snown me a better way. im blessed to think that God is changing me and making me into a better person. i just feel blessed.
so, there was some sweet along with the bitter. the weather was beautiful, my car ran good, i was blessed by the speaker, we had awesome worship, and i saw God through some of students at camp. there is hope, i'll try ti grasp it and hold on to it remembereing that God in in control and he can change any situation and he can change anyones heart.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
i took some notes on the messages. they go a little something like this...
Everyone has a hole inside. We try to fill it with temporal things, material things, things that will not last.
God wants to fill our hole with himself. With eternal peace. He fills us up wholy & eternaly. Eternal joy, satisfaction and peace.
John 16:33 I have told you, so that in me you will find peace...
John 14:27 Peace i leave with you, my peace i give you...
Don't settle for temporal fillings when Christ can eternally fill your heart.
Have passion for waht you belive in.
Never be embaressed of your faith.
Share your testimony.
Take someone aside to pray with them and/or for them.
Work hard to be a christian.
Be passionate about something.
Be passionate to serve Christ.
now the amusing part...
this is me driving to calvin crest. it was dark and foggy in the begining, then when we hit 99 it clearned up making way for dark stary skies and cold winter air.
this is me sleeping through the counselar meeting.
this is me at breakfast.
the speaker, sam scribbles, was a breakdancer. he entertained us during free time with some of his breaking skills. he was really funny to watch.
this is me sleeping through the rest of free time.
owen wilson...
this is me just sort of standing around.
this is travis during one of the stupid games that we played. yay.
and this me sleeping through breakfast this morning.
peace...
this past weekend at calvin crest has been bitter-sweet. unfortunatly, in my mind being in the emotional state that it is, the majority of it has been bitter.
this weekend with my high schoolers, i witnessed many things. i supose they have been there all along, but in my current highly sensitive state i noticed them sticking out like a sore thumb. i witnessed a lot of violence, rudeness, disprespect towards eachother and other people and a lot of hatefulness. i saw a lot of acceptance of sin and i witnessed a lot of low self esteem, a lot of looking for acceptance in others and the thing that was most disheartening, i noticed a lack of interest in Jesus.
the speakers name was sam scribbles. i have never seen him before, but my little brother informed me that he has been up at calvin crest several times before. he was quite good looking, very good looking in fact. but more importantly, he was a blessed speaker. God is using him to reach out to people in a latino neighborhood in hollywood with a crime rate almost as high as south centrals.
the focus attention this weekend was the difference between temoprary things (things of the world, momentary pleasures) and eternal things (your relationship with Christ and others, the way you live your life). personally i was blessed by the message, but i was distracted my the above mentioned lack of interest displayed by a good number of my highschoolers.
maybe its just the stage of life that they are in, maybe its just a stage. something they will grow out of. maybe some day they will grow up and come to realise the importance of some of the things that they seem to pass off so quickly as silly or unimportant.
im tired of them. im tired of the violence, the lack of peace. the lack of peace physicly and especially spiritualy. im tired of them struggling for acceptance im tired of them making friends who will not lift them up spiritually. im tired of seeing them make the wrong choices. im tired of the lack of male influence in their lives and im sickened to think of the male influences they choose to have. im frustrated that i can only do so much.
im frustrated because i love them so much. im blessed by this because i get to feel just a small piece of what God feels for them. if im so frustrated and concerned, how much more is God concerend about them? how much more does God love them?
i guess i will just keep on keeping on. sometimes all i can do is pray for them and love them. and silently watch them making the choices they make, even if they are wrong.
i know that i have been guilty of at least some of the above, and i know that it doesnt really matter wich ones becuase God views all of our sins the same, but i feel blessed that God has snown me a better way. im blessed to think that God is changing me and making me into a better person. i just feel blessed.
so, there was some sweet along with the bitter. the weather was beautiful, my car ran good, i was blessed by the speaker, we had awesome worship, and i saw God through some of students at camp. there is hope, i'll try ti grasp it and hold on to it remembereing that God in in control and he can change any situation and he can change anyones heart.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
i took some notes on the messages. they go a little something like this...
Everyone has a hole inside. We try to fill it with temporal things, material things, things that will not last.
God wants to fill our hole with himself. With eternal peace. He fills us up wholy & eternaly. Eternal joy, satisfaction and peace.
John 16:33 I have told you, so that in me you will find peace...
John 14:27 Peace i leave with you, my peace i give you...
Don't settle for temporal fillings when Christ can eternally fill your heart.
Have passion for waht you belive in.
Never be embaressed of your faith.
Share your testimony.
Take someone aside to pray with them and/or for them.
Work hard to be a christian.
Be passionate about something.
Be passionate to serve Christ.
now the amusing part...
this is me driving to calvin crest. it was dark and foggy in the begining, then when we hit 99 it clearned up making way for dark stary skies and cold winter air.
this is me sleeping through the counselar meeting.
this is me at breakfast.
the speaker, sam scribbles, was a breakdancer. he entertained us during free time with some of his breaking skills. he was really funny to watch.
this is me sleeping through the rest of free time.
owen wilson...
this is me just sort of standing around.
this is travis during one of the stupid games that we played. yay.
and this me sleeping through breakfast this morning.
peace...
posted by april at
6:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home