yesterday i realized in in the bad habbit of telling people that i am horrible when they ask me how i am doing. its the first thing that comes to mind. im not sure why. i think a part of me really is horrible. but isnt there a part of everyone that is horrible most of the time? all of the stuff in my head that i cant get away from, all of the "life" that im dealing with, stupid crap. part of me is always horrible.
but i realized later, after telling someone i was horrible, that im not all that horrible. im actually wonderful. whats happening in my life? i have no idea! (note the exclamation mark). i have no clue whats going on. whats making me horrible? all of the stupid crap. whats making me wonderful? all of the stupid crap. i love it. i love it. i love it.
im in the middle of an adventure. an adventure with ideas and plans and thoughts, but not a lot of direction. not a lot of certanty. but thats the way i want it.
how am i doing? im lovely, thanks for asking.
but i realized later, after telling someone i was horrible, that im not all that horrible. im actually wonderful. whats happening in my life? i have no idea! (note the exclamation mark). i have no clue whats going on. whats making me horrible? all of the stupid crap. whats making me wonderful? all of the stupid crap. i love it. i love it. i love it.
im in the middle of an adventure. an adventure with ideas and plans and thoughts, but not a lot of direction. not a lot of certanty. but thats the way i want it.
how am i doing? im lovely, thanks for asking.
posted by april at
11:01 AM
5 Comments:
today I got to see gunk (green/red/brown/white) slowly coming out of a kids chest tube because his lung collapsed after he exercised. Then I got to suction out a 2 month olds nose and throat beacuse he couldn't breathe due to the pneumonia, I got to see large abcesses that were pending surgery to be drained, I got to give and set up several IV sets and meds (i successfully calculated the math by the way) and then I did an impromptue report on RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) for my clinical group.
Can you believe that I did all that and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing? I'm glad my patients don't know that I feel clueless.
This has nothing to do with your post, I just wanted to make a jouranl post somewhere other than my xanga or myspace. No particular reason.
Have a lovely day
i love you April. You arrrre wonderful.
who is sanderai?
you're wearing her headbands.
ha. i love you too.
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