im not going to anahiem mostly becuase of the fires. it just wouldnt be right.

i got friday off of work anyway. want to hang out? right.

i clipped my fingernails.

i saw chris. he upsets me.

i invites t.s. to church next wednesday. pray for open hearts, minds and souls...

umm... who are YOU?

what had been a relativly good day, suddenly took a turn for the worst. now i have a sick feeling in my stomach. like i want to take things back, like i want to change but i cant. its like im stuck here in this body with this attitude... and no matter how hard ive tried to change, you have already branded me with a certain attitude and i probably wouldnt be able to convince you that thats not who i am, that i was and had been depressed but now im trying with all my heart to change, but it wouldnt matter because you wouldnt even let me know your name, so now there is nothing i can do about it. im sorry i upset you. if you had the guts to leave your name or talk to me in a more personal way (as i belive it probably should have been done) then i could take care of this. then maybe i wouldnt have this dark feeling in the pit of my stomach becuase i would have hope of patching things up. but as of now, i have no hope of that. i dont care who you are, even if you may think i hate your guts i would have liked to talk to you. i would have liked to know i was hurting you. your not helping me change any by leaving me comments like that and not letting me know who you are. your not helping me.

anyway, for what its worth, and if you even give a damn anymore, im sorry. ive done a lot of things that i wish i could take back, said a lot of things that i wish i could take back but mostly i wish i could talk to your face.