part of a letter i was writing on a yellow legal pad...
monday, august ?, 2006...
i just accidently bought somewhere near three hundred of these 48 sheet legal pads at the dollar store... it was an accident becuase i thought they sold them 3 to a package, when in fact they sell them 2 to a package and i mistakingly picked up 3 packages, wich would also explain why i had to pay $3.01 at the register... so i am stuck with 6, 48 page yellow legal pads...
origionally, i didnt even go in there for legal pads. origionally i went in there for a nice, bound, composition book... you know, the books with the black covers and the little white flecks... they were out of those, so i got these legal pads thinking at least they have a little bit of sticky stuff at the top to hold the pages together and i wont have pages of writing flying all over the place...
i probably should have also taken into consideration though, that these legal pads came from the dollar store in oakhurst and the sticky stuff holding these 48 pages together is probably, in fact, the absolute bottom of the line sticky stuff and will not hold together for as long as i would like it too...
i will just have to be gentle with it i supose.
(continuing in cursive writing...)
i am also not sure if i should be writing this letter in my handwriting form (wich is easier for me) or print... some people say they have a hard time reading my handwriting (i cant imagine why) so maybe i should continue in print... the problem with writing in print thiugh is that it really doesnt agree with my carpol tunnel syndrom and my wrist usually begins to ache. the feeling is equivalent to a headache in my wrist and i get headaches in my head nearly everyday (if i eat dairy products) so having a head ache in my wrist when i can easily avoid it seems stupid to me...
i have decited that i will switch back and forth between printing and cursive through out this letter...
will i ever have the guts to send you this letter? maybe... maybe not... maybe it will collect and form some sort of funny book at the end... maybe years from now i will gather all these pages i never sent and have a book. perhaps it will be published... "memoirs of april" and it will be a mixed up composition of thoughts and feelings and qustions of a thoughtful, feeling, questioning california girl. maybe, but only after i die, as that seems to be the way with best sellers (i wonder how many best sellers are written on yellow legal pads?)
this is my way of processing... please understand... i truly belive that if i do not write this stuff down, with the intention of sending it to you, my head would explode, leaving a messy, bloody meal all over this table, coffee cup, ash tray and yellow legal pad for the thousands of anticipating flys buzzing around out here. not to mention a discusting mess for someone to clean up and probably some sort of paper work to be filled out as well concerning the disturbing details and reason behind my death. and what would the coroner even conlude the cause of death would be? how could they ever find out that the reason my head exploded was becuase of my thoughts, feelings and questions? he would have quite a challenge on his hands for sure. and what would happen to my things? i have no will... you are welcome to have my van, although im sure it would be more a burden than a blessing since there is something wrong with it... i also wonder what kind of therapy the un-suspecting witnesses would have to go through after seeing a girls head explode... someone would probably be sure to swipe my new package of cigerettes...
keeping all of this in mind, it is absolutly necissary for me to be writing this down with the intention of sending it to you... "
that was just the bginning... i like writing letters...
monday, august ?, 2006...
i just accidently bought somewhere near three hundred of these 48 sheet legal pads at the dollar store... it was an accident becuase i thought they sold them 3 to a package, when in fact they sell them 2 to a package and i mistakingly picked up 3 packages, wich would also explain why i had to pay $3.01 at the register... so i am stuck with 6, 48 page yellow legal pads...
origionally, i didnt even go in there for legal pads. origionally i went in there for a nice, bound, composition book... you know, the books with the black covers and the little white flecks... they were out of those, so i got these legal pads thinking at least they have a little bit of sticky stuff at the top to hold the pages together and i wont have pages of writing flying all over the place...
i probably should have also taken into consideration though, that these legal pads came from the dollar store in oakhurst and the sticky stuff holding these 48 pages together is probably, in fact, the absolute bottom of the line sticky stuff and will not hold together for as long as i would like it too...
i will just have to be gentle with it i supose.
(continuing in cursive writing...)
i am also not sure if i should be writing this letter in my handwriting form (wich is easier for me) or print... some people say they have a hard time reading my handwriting (i cant imagine why) so maybe i should continue in print... the problem with writing in print thiugh is that it really doesnt agree with my carpol tunnel syndrom and my wrist usually begins to ache. the feeling is equivalent to a headache in my wrist and i get headaches in my head nearly everyday (if i eat dairy products) so having a head ache in my wrist when i can easily avoid it seems stupid to me...
i have decited that i will switch back and forth between printing and cursive through out this letter...
will i ever have the guts to send you this letter? maybe... maybe not... maybe it will collect and form some sort of funny book at the end... maybe years from now i will gather all these pages i never sent and have a book. perhaps it will be published... "memoirs of april" and it will be a mixed up composition of thoughts and feelings and qustions of a thoughtful, feeling, questioning california girl. maybe, but only after i die, as that seems to be the way with best sellers (i wonder how many best sellers are written on yellow legal pads?)
this is my way of processing... please understand... i truly belive that if i do not write this stuff down, with the intention of sending it to you, my head would explode, leaving a messy, bloody meal all over this table, coffee cup, ash tray and yellow legal pad for the thousands of anticipating flys buzzing around out here. not to mention a discusting mess for someone to clean up and probably some sort of paper work to be filled out as well concerning the disturbing details and reason behind my death. and what would the coroner even conlude the cause of death would be? how could they ever find out that the reason my head exploded was becuase of my thoughts, feelings and questions? he would have quite a challenge on his hands for sure. and what would happen to my things? i have no will... you are welcome to have my van, although im sure it would be more a burden than a blessing since there is something wrong with it... i also wonder what kind of therapy the un-suspecting witnesses would have to go through after seeing a girls head explode... someone would probably be sure to swipe my new package of cigerettes...
keeping all of this in mind, it is absolutly necissary for me to be writing this down with the intention of sending it to you... "
that was just the bginning... i like writing letters...
posted by april at
9:56 AM
3 Comments:
you and woody should write a book. you guys could totally do it.
i got my check the other day. i've got a butt load of money. i will probably go crazy because i have never had this much money in my entire life...although, really, it's not that much. but still. i'm dissapointed because we cant go see dwight yokam...nobody else has money and laurel cant drive. sigh.
you and woody should write a book. you guys could totally do it.
i got my check the other day. i've got a butt load of money. i will probably go crazy because i have never had this much money in my entire life...although, really, it's not that much. but still. i'm dissapointed because we cant go see dwight yokam...nobody else has money and laurel cant drive. sigh.
you are beautiful
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