its good to be back... in the mountains, the fresh air, community... stuff.

im on a break right now... pretty much the first break ive had since saturday morning, 6:30 a.m. a little bit of time to process whats been going on. i need this. process time. alone time. time to think. i need it to keep going.

O week has been hard. long days, on my feet. learning about new people and spending time with them is hard on a recluses(sp?) mind. all od the extrovertednes(sp?) is hard on a introvert. but the challenge is good and sweet.

im not sure whats going on yet... im not sure about some things. some shit happened to a friend of mine over the summer and he is not here with me this time around and i think im still a little shaken up about that. i felt a huge heartache when tony talked about friends that we would make for life during our time here, thinking about how my friends were not here with me again. i miss them.

but life goes on. there are other things to focus on. there are other people to grow close too. i supose God knew what was up when circumstances made it so my friend would not be here this time. im sure God has bigger ideas and plans than i can imagine for my time here without my friend.

so, i could focus on the past, the good times and the good times i will miss without him, or i could focus on the future and the things that *might* happen, or i could focus on the now. the things that are taking place right now... the group of my brothers and sisters who are down there somewhere learning how to run the events... my friend amy, taking a nap because she doesnt sleep well at night... my new niece, karri anne, and my brother and sister-in-law... my little sisters poor kitten who has ear mites and the bugs buzzing outside of the window behind me... the hour and a half i have left on this break...

im really not sure what to expect out of this semester. im not sure that i like to look ahead and think of things to expect. i think i might like to just live in the now (waynes world) and try to focus on things that are happeneding around me now, my heart now, the hearts of others now, the thoughts in my head now... what can i do now?