today started out with me hearing a conversation that i never should have heard. this particular conversation should have never even been had, but it was. and i, by some sick chance, happened to hear it. it made me want to throw up and cry. i wanted to go and change back into my pajamas, crawl back into bed and stay there all day long and cry and... i dont know. i heard the conversation that should have never been, thus setting the pace for the rest of my day...

i cant even explain why it wasnt a good day. it just wasnt. i think it was the damn conversation that did it to me... it made me so sick inside, that the sickness leaked through my skin and caused the outside of me to be sick too.

i get all nervouse when he walks up... im serious, as stupid and silly as it sounds its true. i get nervouse. i dont think ive ever gotten so nervouse around a boy before as i am when he walks up. i dont know why. its stupid really.

my head hurts. i feel like death (overstatement). i just want a nice cup of coffee and a friend to sit and talk to about the shit thats happening.